I recently read a quote online by Francis Chan that says, “Our greatest fear in life should not be a failure, but of succeeding at things that don't really matter." When I read that, it immediately connected some dots. You know how you hear something and you instantaneously know it’s the truth? That is how that was for me.

Man, we focus on the BS of, "Okay, what I am going do today? I succeeded at this and that and I didn't fail at this." When really, when talking about failures, we should try harder to fail so that we can continue to learn and grow, and get better. We should try harder to fail. Not only that, but we should look at where we're spending our time. So you were successful in getting that cup of coffee from the place you had to wait in line for 45 minutes. You succeeded. You did it. You got it. What in the hell does that matter? Get a cheaper cup that takes 2 minutes so you're out the door faster. You see what I'm saying? I get it—maybe it’s really important to you that you have that specific coffee so you’ve got to wait in line 45 minutes for a cup of coffee.

I'm just using something nominal, crazy, and little that we focus on succeeding at that inevitably don't matter. They really don't matter. If what you're doing is not going matter five years from now, then don't let it matter now. If it’s not going matter ten years from now, don't let it matter now. Right?

So, did you succeed in that argument with your spouse? Did you beat him up? Not physically, but you know what I'm saying. You verbally won the argument. You were successful, right? Although you could've compromised and you could've met halfway, you decided you needed to win. Was it that important? In life, you have to learn not to fight the battles you can win. Only fight the battles that need fighting.

Everybody talks about success, but you have to decide what that is for you in every area of your life. What does success look like for your partnerships, marriage, or any relationship? What does success look like for you when it comes to parenting? Sit down and be very specific about the things that matter to you in every area of your life. You really have to think about it and put some effort into it because you do not want the pain of regret. Regret is freaking expensive.

Failure is not what you should have the greatest fear of. You should have the greatest fear of being successful at things that never mattered. Once you find that thing, I suggest you, “be brave enough to go after what you really want and be strong enough to pick people up and bring them with you.”, as Andy Frisella puts it.